Diary of pratibha vhttp://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/Diary of pratibha ven-us*Roles in Heaven :
*Brahma*
Systems Installation


*Vishnu
* Systems Administration & Support


*Lakshmi *
Finance and Accounts consultant


*Saraswati*
Training and Knowledge Management


*Shiva*
DBA (Crash Specialist)


*Ganesh *
Quality Assuarance & Documentation


*Narada*
Data transfer


*Yama*
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant


*Chitragupta*
IDP & Personal Records


*Apsaras*
Downloadable Viruses


*Devas*
Mainframe Programmers


*Surya*
Solaris Administrator


*Rakshasas *
In house Hackers


*Ravan *
Internet Explorer WWWF



Kumbhakarnan*
Zombie Process


* Lakshman*
Support Software and Backup


*Hanuman *
Linux/s390


* Vaali*
MS Windows


*Sugreeva*
DOS


*Jatayu*
Firewall


*Dronacharya*
System Programmer


*Vishwamitra *
Sr. Manager Projects


*Shakuni*
Annual appraisal & Promotion


*Valmiki *
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)



*Dharmaraj Yudhishthira*
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)


*Arjun
* Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)


*Abhimanyu*
Trainee Programmer


*Draupadi *
Motivation & Team building



* Bhima*
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM


*Duryodhana *
Microsoft product Written in VB


*Karna*
Contract programmer


*Dhrutarashtra*
Visual C++


*Gandhari*
Dreamweaver


*100 Kaur avas
* Microsoft Service Packs and patches]]>Fri, 17 Nov 2006 23:40:40 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/11/17/-Roles-in-Heaven.htmlPropose 2day or u'l lose him/her 4ever10th Grade

As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.


After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.!
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.


11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her.


She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don t know why.



Senior year

One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.




Graduation



A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said 'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don t want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.




Marriage

Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now and driving off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.



Death

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it.


I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me! ........'I wish I did too........'
I thought to my self, and I cried.



Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them.
They won't be there...................Forever.



]]>Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:06:40 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/11/15/Propose-2day-or-u-l-lose-him-her.htmlTen Humorous DefinitionsWomen: Person who thinks more with their heart than with their head.
Experience: What you will get while looking for something else.
Zoo: A place advice for animals to study the habits of human beings.
Adam: The only man in the world who couldn't say," Pardon me, haven't I seen you before?"
Dentist: A person who extracts both your teeth and money.
Bald: When one has less hair to comb and more face to wash.
Death: Stop sinning suddenly.
Neighbour: A person who is out of something.
Smile: A small curve that solve big problems.
Kitchen: Final laboratory of housewife.

]]>Wed, 08 Nov 2006 18:19:24 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/11/08/Ten-Humorous.htmlSome truthsAS SMART AS YOU ARE....I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS !!



The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV

were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US

Treasury.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear

better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coca-Cola was originally green.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to

work: Alaska!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get

this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness:

38%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:

$6,400

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The average number of people airborne over the US any given

hour: 61,000

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China

in 1910.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National

Monuments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king

from history:



Spades - King David,

Hearts - Charlemagne,

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both

front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the

horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a

result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all

four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on

July 4th, John

Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on

August 2,but the

last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English

language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that

makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?

A. Conception.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most

popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have

to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield

wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other

day of the year?

A. Father's Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is

the most ironic?

A. He was allergic to carrots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a

party?

A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed

frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress

tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the

phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that

for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would

supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead

is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,

this period was called the honey month we know today as the

honeymoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in

old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would

yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle

down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle

baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When

they needed a refill,they used the whistle to get some

service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this

practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled

Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF

entered into the English language.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their

elbow

]]>Wed, 08 Nov 2006 18:10:28 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/11/08/Some.htmlThe Seven C's of SuccessGet ready to sail the Seven C's - the Seven C's of Success that is.
Learn to navigate your ship of destiny in these seven "C's" if you
want to be a total success. Here they are, in alphabetical order:

1. Caring - I believe that to be a true success in this world we
must have a bigger vision than simply accomplishing a goal for
ourselves or simply lining our own pockets. I believe that
successful people have a deep caring for others. Yes, they are
aggressive, but they are not aggressive to the point that
they run roughshod over others.

Question: What is your caring factor? Have you placed people in
their proper place, as people worthy of dignity, respect, and
proper treatment? Or have you begun to treat others as a means to
an end for yourself?

2. Character - Becoming a success is more than increasing the
digits in your bank account. In fact, I believe ANYONE can increase
his or her bank account with a simple plan. Financial development
is the easy part. Character development is the hard part, letting
each and every experience shape and mold us as we experience them,
always moving toward our goal and never allowing negative
circumstances to destroy us but make us better people. This is what
true success is about!

Question: How is your character? Are you becoming a better person
with each passing experience? Are you becoming a rock of wisdom and
experience, deepening your foundation of character?

3. Choice - Eisenhower reminded us that our histories are written
by choice, not by chance. Every movement you make toward your
ultimate success and destiny will be because you choose to move
toward it. The actions that you choose, each and every day will add
up, over the long-term, to your final destination. The power we
have as humans to choose is one of the greatest gifts known
to mankind.

Question: Do you choose success with each and every choice you
make? Each choice you make either moves you toward your goal or
away from it. Which do you choose?

4. Concentration - Often those who fail do so because they lose
their concentration. Something else comes along and becomes their
newfound fancy. They move from whim to whim, tossed to and fro by
the strong blowing winds. The successful person however, stands
firm, with their eyes transfixed on the goal. One of my favorite
posters as a boy was of George Brett of the Kansas City Royals
Baseball Team. The picture was taken just as the bat was hitting
the ball. Where were George's eyes? Straight down the barrel of the
bat, looking at the point where the ball and bat came together. Now
that is concentration!

Question: How is your concentration? Do you stick to your goal and
focus firmly on it, or do you let your mind and heart wander from
whim to whim

5. Confidence - Success comes to those who have the confidence to
try, and more than that, the confidence to win. Confidence is
something that you can grow in your mind and heart. Each passing
victory that you achieve builds more and more confidence in you to
draw from the next time you go to fight another battle on your
journey to success. Do what you can to build confidence inside of
yourself so you will be able to dip deeply into that well when you
need it!

Question: How is your confidence? Do you believe that you can
achieve what you conceive? Are you winning victories that you can
then draw on later?

6. Consistency - People who become a success realise that to a
great degree, success is a formula. At the very least it is sticking
to doing the right things for a long enough period of time for them
to create their destiny. This is consistency. They consistently do
the things that will bring them their success. Tiger Woods hits
hundreds of practice balls each and every day. He doesn't do 100
one day, then two days off, then 500 balls, then a day off, then 300
balls, then three days off. No, he knows the power of consistency
and has achieved a level of success that that consistency
formulated for him.

Question: How is your consistency? Are you consistent? Are you
doing the things you need to do each and every day that will bring
your goal to you?

7. Courage - Successful people are brave people. They know that
even success has its challenges, yet they face them head on and
move forward anyway. No mountain is too high, nor river too wide,
nor foe too large for the person who will choose to live out their
dreams! They are courageous people who continue on even when others
have quit. And for that they receive their reward!

Question: How about you? Are you courageous? Are you willing to
face the obstacles and move forward in spite of the fear that may
try to well up within you? Be courageous and you will succeed!
]]>Mon, 30 Oct 2006 18:09:33 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/10/30/The-Seven-C-s-of.htmlHTML + Javascript: Benefits of Turing-IncompletenessWhat is the most popular language today? HTML. Spreadsheets are another very popular style of programming. SQL is enduringly popular, in spite of the cognoscenti writing off relational databases as "legacy" - something I vehemently disagree with, by the way.

What is in common across these programming systems? They are each optimized for what they do, and more importantly, they don't attempt to do everything. In programming language terms, they are Turing-incomplete i.e there are many kinds of programs you cannot write in those languages. Languages like C or Java or Lisp or Ruby are general purpose "universal" languages, while HTML (without java-script) is limited to the purpose of sending a document for display on a browser. SQL (without the vendor proprietary extension languages like PL-SQL) serves to query relational databases. Spreadsheets (without macros) allow you to do rapidly build a variety of number crunching applications.

When we need the full power, we combine HTML with a Turing complete language java-script. Technically HTML + java-script is equivalent in computing power to java-script alone, but that is no reason to discard HTML. Same way we embed SQL in a Turing complete language like C or Java or equivalently, use something like PL-SQL or T-SQL to build applications.

What the success of these ideas shows is the power of combining a Turing incomplete "domain specific" language like HTML or SQL, and embedding or augmenting it with a universal language. The resulting solution turns out to be far simpler (for the humans) than writing everything in a universal language. It is the old divide-and-conquer strategy at work.

HTML and SQL are known as declarative languages - we just tell the computer what we want, without specifying how it gets done. By adopting the HTML + java-script or SQL + Java solution, in effect we extract a declarative core of the application and separate it from the rest of the program. Declarative programs are easier for the human to write as well as understand - it is always easy to declare "I want a cup of coffee with milk and sugar" rather than specify the steps involved with "Grind the coffee beans, put it in the filter, ...." One problem with specifying all the steps is that the coffee-maker now has no flexibility - for example, it cannot pre-grind the beans in anticipation.

Keeping it declarative is not only simpler for the programmer, but it also allows the run-time system to optimize it. SQL databases optimize queries, and browsers cache HTML pages.

A good part of what is known as "functional style" is really about developing such declarative sub-languages. Lisp macros enable that style. Relational queries follow the same declarative style.
]]>Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:58:18 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/10/30/HTML-Javascript-Benefits-of.htmlTime to Go Our Separate Ways ...... it has been good knowing you, sweetheart, but the time has come for us to move on. It's not really about you, it's about me. I don't think I am a good enough man for you. We have shared a lot of times together, good and bad. You got cranky at times, but I loved you all the same. You have been good to me. We have shared all our secrets together. I knew the very words to turn you on, and you held my life in your embrace.

But now, I am not so sure we should be so tied to each other. I am afraid I have grown out of you. It started only as a casual fling, but that made me realize what I was missing. I need my freedom, I need my space, outside of your warm embrace. May be both of us, set free from each other, will discover our true selves.

When we first met, you were, well, a little overweight. As you slimmed down, you became a sleek beauty, and we became an inseparable couple. But times have changed. I am sure you will find a good future without me.

I will be fair to you. I propose you keep the house and accessories. I will just take my memories with me. If I have said anything that is of a personal nature, I am sorry, please purge yourself of that memory. It won't do you any good to hold on to that. Make a fresh start, so you can find space in future; you surely will find love just as I hope to find variety in my pursuit.

So my dear "personal" computer, let's get a divorce. My casual fling started when I moved my email to Zoho Virtual Office. Then my documents moved to Zoho Writer. Very soon, I find myself going places without you, and finding that I don't miss you at all. Once I experienced that freedom without you, it is hard to be tied down. Rather than pretend that this is still working, I propose we part on amicable terms. I am sure you will find many new admirers. I hope we can still meet once in a while and be friends.


]]>Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:32:26 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/10/30/Time-to-Go-Our-Separate-Ways.htmlbest poembest poem of the year
This poem was nominated poem of 2005 for the best poem, written by an African kid.........amazing thought!!!

When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in Sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,
When I sick, I Black,
And when I die, I still black..

And you White fella,
When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in Sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray..

And you calling me Colored


]]>Mon, 30 Oct 2006 17:29:55 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/10/30/best.htmlDilbert's one liners!!Dilbert's one liners!!


I say no to drugs, they just don't listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

Born free, taxed to death.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented
the other three, he was the genius.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week
]]>Sun, 29 Oct 2006 16:39:13 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/10/29/Dilbert-s-one.htmlLessons in LogicIf your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

.................................................. ......................

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

.................................................. ......................


Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

.................................................. ......................


If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

.................................................. ......................


Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

.................................................. ......................


How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

.................................................. ......................


Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

.................................................. ......................


One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

.................................................. ......................


Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

.................................................. ......................


Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

.................................................. ......................


The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

.................................................. ......................


Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

.................................................. ......................


Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

.................................................. ......................


"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

.................................................. ......................


There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

.................................................. ......................


"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

.................................................. ......................


"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

.................................................. ......................


God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

.................................................. ......................


The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.


.................................................. ......................

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

]]>Sun, 29 Oct 2006 16:27:51 +0530http://pratibhav5.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/10/29/Lessons-in.html